If not for me asking questions and being approachable, I'd probably lose clients. In fact years back before I started asking questions of my students, I did lose a few. I wasn't unapproachable, but I didn't dig deep enough to find out what was really going on.
Rob was at my house for his lesson a couple of weeks ago. He's been with me for awhile, lack of confidence being an issue. We'd work on a song, he'd get through some of it, stumble on parts, improve on others, and then I'd say, "let's try something else."
What I meant was to try something else to switch gears and not stay on something that wasn't working and causing him anxiety. He felt comfortable enough to tell me that when I switched tasks like that, he felt like a total failure because he couldn't sing that song.
I told him how much I appreciated that feedback, as I never would have guessed it on my own. I explained my motivation for making the change, which was having the opposite effect on him that I was going for. This helped me adjust my approach, perhaps in not as quickly changing over to a new song.
It's so important to read our students and ask questions. It can make a difference between their perceived success and their perceived failure.
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